A few days ago a realized something, I rule. This is not one of those self appreciating posts where I tell you how awesome I am. I don't mean "I rule" in the sense that I am cool or hip. I mean it in the sense of the original origin of that word. I rule, I am the one who makes the laws. I control the course of this boat, these roads exist but I choose where I walk. In short I am king of my life. As always this epiphany was not JUST some intellectual coming to terms with my own being. A moment in time where I realized my humanity and all that comes with it, although it was that as well, but it went further than that. It didn't last as long as I might have hoped but for an instant I realized that the thing that inhibits me is me. Its not as if I didn't know this, I've known this for a long time. The question up to this point had always been, "How do I get from here to there?". In essence how do I remove myself from the equation, or now that I KNOW it how do I LIVE it? In that instant I LIVED it as well as knew it, I felt as though the myriad of possibilities that had been closed to me because of my own self inflicted ceiling or stale mate where torn open. I had won the battle against myself for control of my own life, however brief the victory lasted.

The trick now is to remember, remember how to rule. Somewhere somehow I willingly gave up my birthright, the one that gave me control over all of THIS. I need to return to the throne and don the crown that I have given up, its as if I had amnesia and in one blinding moment the memory of what I was came flooding back to me and with it the realization of the power I wield. However there is still a choice I face. To return to the kingdom I left, dispose of the usurper who now sits the throne and take my place as ruler, or to simply be content with being the wanderer allowing the world to pass me by without a second though to what I might be able to do about it. The latter choice which logically seems to be so craven and stupid, still holds no small appeal. It would allow me to be the passive observer and to blame the world for its own problems, no need to factor my own choice to not do something into the equation because I wouldn't have a choice cause I'm not in control, and there is nothing I have to offer the world anyway. The first choice has its own dangers though, as I take control I must be able to defend against the inevitable temptation to misuse that power as well as the temptation to sit idly by. I must rule justly and with compassion, but I must also remember that kings must rule with scepter AND sword. Shepherds have both the rod and the staff and you must not neglect either if you expect to keep your herd.